One day
To one day find myself living peacefully.. waking up in white floral bedsheets with the love of my life and my dog, knowing that I’m enough for both of them by just existing.. being warm and comfortable, walking naked through our sheltered little house. There would be plants everywhere that my SO would have to keep alive, and mostly wooden interior. A kitchen full of labeled mason jars filled with oatmeal, rice, spices, tea, jam and pickles. I’d grind some whole coffee beans by hand, would take my time with everything I do, a protest to how I grew up, reclaiming simple chores like making breakfast after they had almost been made synonymous with anxiety. We would live knowing we’re not hurting the planet, ideally self sufficent or at least as much as we can use glass and cloth instead of plastic.
oh and a record player, the music would fill the house as the scent of coffee does, its steam visible is the sunrays. I would be far away from anything that had hurt me, and it would feel like a distant memory. I’d live surrounded by art, by supplies, playroom to get my hands dirty and bring my ideas to life. The room with the most windows would have easels and canvas upon canvas, little drops of oilpaint here and there that just added to it. This was our place and it was for us.
The dog would come to me his little paws giving him away 10 steps ahead of time. I’d love him so so much, give him the best life, he’d join me to our back porch where I’d sit with my coffee and he’d just run around. No backyard, just akers and akers of flowerfields. I wouldn’t worry, I’d let go, no catastrophic thoughts jolting me away from my peace, just this. Coffee, sunrays, birds chirping and my dear dog. My partner peacefully asleep still
The city wouldn’t be far, but just far enough to make it an occasion to pack and get in the car for it.
Back at home small things would occasionally disappear and reappear the most odd places, but we see the dog just being extra playful around these corners of the house, so we just chat with it occasionally and leave out a bowl of milk and some jam here and there. Then long forgotten items are sometimes found, I guess it’s a little game that makes us all grin a bit.